Sometimes the motivation that stems from deep within, the same motivation that has driven me to lose nearly 100 pounds, goes silent. Eerily silent. Occasionally, the voice in my head saying that I cannot do something is significantly louder and more convincing than that meek voice that encourages me to just keep moving. You'd probably assume that after 18 months of this journey that the voice of deception and defeat is quieter and the voice of confidence and encouragement is far louder. You'd be wrong. Honestly, the longer I do this, the louder the negativity in my own head gets, when I let it seep in.
A little insight into my week. My children were recently out of town for two weeks affording me the freedom to go to the gym whenever I felt like it. I was able to buy different (more expensive) health foods because I was only shopping for my husband and I. As much as I missed them, when they came home it felt like I got body slammed. Back to life, back to the reality of having to fit in workouts where I can, buying less expensive but still healthy foods. In the interest of being completely honest, I have only worked out one time since they got home a week ago.
So as I sat on the couch feeling lumpy and pathetic all week, I let that voice overtake me. "This cannot be done with a husband, children, and a job!" or "You're not going to succeed!". Logically, this makes absolutely no sense, but the feelings are still there.
This morning, I got up and felt lighter. I've been telling my husband about the feelings I've had and boy does that help! So I figured I'd share it with you too.
I have a sneaking suspicion that people give me a lot credit for "having it all together"--I don't. Maybe they assume that I never grow tired of this journey--I do. Maybe they think that if they lose motivation for a time, that it is all over for them--it isn't. I will pick myself up, dust myself off and continue down the path I've laid out for myself--and so will you! It's ok to feel defeated, tired, and overwhelmed. This lifestyle isn't intuitive for everyone (is it for anyone?) and it takes work. Remember, however, that you are so worth loving. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend. That voice inside your head is you. Would you speak to your best friend that way? Probably not. Are you not worth the same love and respect? I think you are. I think I am too.
So what do you do? How can you keep encouraged when times get hard?
1. Find a health buddy: This person or group of people can help keep you accountable and they understand your struggles. As much as your other friends want to support you, they can only take so much talk of weightlifting, cross-fit, running, paleo, or whatever your current schtick is. Cut them some slack.
2. Write it down: I've told so many people this--write down your "why". Why are you starting this journey? What do you hope to accomplish? Make sure to add both short term and long term goals to your list. Including things like "I want to be at my child's wedding" is important, but realistically, also include things like "I want to feel good in the dress for my best friends wedding in two months". Both are types of goals imperative to your success. Goals that are too broad or too far in the future will not help you in the pit of defeat right now. I have a friend who has made it a priority to treat herself to something fitness/health related as she attains her goals as a means to motivate herself to keep going. This is a wonderful and creative tool!
3. Measure and photograph: This is huge. If you do nothing else, do this. Take your measurements and pictures frequently. When that scale doesn't move (and sometimes, it wont for weeks!), you'll have concrete proof to look back on and realize that you are still doing ok! I took measurements from March of 2014 until now and the difference is astounding. I keep those measurements in my bathroom to look at often. Pictures also help you visually see where you are. I know that before my journey, I was always behind the camera. Hop in front of it darling, it is your time to shine! You'll be glad you did, the next time you hit a plateau. (Side note: If you're weighing yourself more than once a week, that's a problem. You and your scale need to break up. I try--although sometimes unsuccessfully--to not weigh myself more than that. Otherwise, you're going to go insane!)
4. Remember this is a lifestyle change, not a diet: It took me 26 years to create the bad eating and exercise habits I had before, it's only logical that it would take a while to really hone in this new way of life. Give yourself some grace, you're doing just fine. Do not define yourself by some fad diet, its better than that! This is a lifestyle change, correcting old habits with new, healthy ones. It takes time so don't expect everything to come together all at once!
5. See your doctor: Personally, I have been diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. I see an alternative doctor (he is a Kinesiologist) who has treated me for the causes of my thyroid condition and has improved my life tremendously. Through diet and healthy supplements, I can happily say I no longer take my thyroid medicine. I cannot recommend this enough but I would never suggest you take this path without a doctor's supervision! I could easily hide behind this diagnosis but I choose not to every single day. Feeling better than ever before, health-wise, keeps me motivated to just keep going.
So that's it. It is a new week and I have decided to just keep moving. Everyday may not be the best but you can certainly make the best of every day!
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